Sometimes Blogging Makes me Sick

Let me preface this post by sharing that I wrote the main body of this post over a month ago, and never actually finished it.  I also never quite got up the nerve to post it, but that being said, I’m ready to share.  You can love me or hate me, but this post expresses some real feelings I have been experiencing over the past six months or so.  Here goes nothing…

I love blogging, and I truly do enjoy each and every opportunity and product that I’ve received thanks to blogging. And I appreciate all the help I’ve received from fellow bloggers, and mentors I’ve had along the way. But, there is a feeling I have, it’s a deep, and sometimes guttural sensation that makes me think twice about blogging. Here are a few reasons that blogging makes me sick.

• Never-ending Chaos and Turmoil. I have enough chaos in my own life that I could do without the drama that comes with the blogging world.  I get physically ill when I feel a confrontation on the bloggy horizon, and it makes me think about how short life is, and wonder if this “argument” is really worth it?  As the old adage goes: Why Can’t We Be Friends??  I get it, we all have different personalities, and unique opinions, but who really gives a flying flip about silly, minute details?  This past Saturday as I lay in the hospital with the WORST migraine I’ve ever experienced, I glanced at my iPhone (in between wretching episodes) and came across a blog post that simply made me feel like chunking my phone in the trash along with my puke.  Are we writing blog posts to stir up trouble and in the meantime get some great traffic? Not sure about this one, but drama is something I can do without.
• Professional Jealousy.  This runs rampant among bloggers, and is by far one of the main reasons I consider turning my back on blogging on an almost daily basis.  I admit that I get caught up in the jealousy just as much as anyone.  I find myself thinking over and over why I wasn’t chosen for such and such blogging trip, or for a particular review.  I know darn good and well that I could realistically represent particular products/items/companies better than some of the bloggers that are chosen.  I have a lot to bring to the table. Gosh, I was married right out of high school, became a teen Mom at the age of 18, was divorced by 19 (not my choice) and remarried shortly thereafter.  I have a special needs son that spent over four months of his life in the NICU, and had a trach for 3 years, and has had multiple surgeries, procedures, and delays.  I have gone on to have two more children, became a pastor’s wife, and am now expecting my 5th child at the age of 31.  During the past 13 years I have held down various jobs such as a retail banker, day-care provider, waitress, business owner, and I completed my bachelor’s degree and graduated in December 2007!  So, if that’s not a little life experience for ya, then I don’t know what is!  Nope, I’m not THE authority on everything in life, but I think I have a lot to offer and I get frustrated when I’m passed over for a more “popular” blog, especially when my family is more suited to a particular product or experience.  Besides, maybe I am a sucky blogger, who knows?
• Does Anyone Really Care? Sure I think my kids are cute, and I think that some of the things they do and say are just adorable, but does anyone else really give a dang?  I mean other than Grandparents maybe.  I really doubt it.  We all have our own lives and our own children, and they attend school, and do great and wonderful things, but after writing about those things over and over, is anyone really listening, or for that matter does anyone care?  I just don’t think so.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ll read your posts about your kids, and comment on how precious they are, but in the long run, I have my own children to worry about and tend to, you know?
• I Hate bowing to the email/Facebook/twitter gods. I realized that things had gone too far when I found that my happiness was contingent upon what email(s) I received during the day, or if someone responded to my tweets or Facebook status updates.  I can’t do it anymore, I wish I lived in the old west, where not a stitch of electricity existed.  Where life was so much more simple, and folks actually worried about themselves and their families.  And time was spent physically working, not socially connecting online all day.  Yes, I’m preaching to myself here, I’m guilty of all of these problems.  Maybe I’m due for a fast of social media.

So, this is where my post ended that I originally wrote over a month ago, and after a two week fast (not really my choice, waiting on internet to get connected) from my blog, twitter, facebook, and the like I am slowly stepping back up to the plate.  I think I’m ready to put my big girl panties on, and man up.  Thanks for listening to my rants and raves, just remember I’m majorly hormonal and pregnant right now, just now getting a reprieve on nausea, so cut me a little slack m’kay?

Anyone else feel my pain, am I alone??

Tagged as: blogging, personal